Grangeritis
by OhSoTalented09
Summary: Something's not right. Why can I only think of Granger, and how many weasels you can fit in her hair? And why am I wearing a pink polka dot dress?
1. Chapter 1

Grangeritis

(Draco POV)

To me every day seemed the same. You get up, get dressed, go to class, annoy Granger, come back, add a few meals and that's the extent of your day. You go to bed with the knowledge that nothing is going to change. Well I, apparently, was wrong. But it really wasn't my fault. I didn't do anything wrong, I was minding my own business.......well, to an extent.

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One week Earlier

"Didn't you know it's against school rules to snog in the middle of the hallway?" I drawl to an unsuspecting couple.

"Well Malfoy didn't you know it's against school rules to be so asinine?" says Hermione Granger, the female counterpart of the couple.

"Of course I knew that," I reply dryly, "but apparently that fact seemed to slip threw your boyfriend's almost nonexistent brain." I gesture to Ronald Wesley the male counterpart of that unsuspecting couple, who, at this comment turns into a blubbering mass of idiocracy.

"Well... you know......um...... YOU'RE NOT SO GREAT YOURSELF!" yells an extremely mad weasel.

"Come on Ron, you don't have to prove your intelligence to him," bites a spiteful Granger.

"He doesn't have any intelligence to prove!" I reply (Isn't this an obvious fact?)

Then they walk away. What, I don't even get a retort for my efforts. Oh god, what is the world coming to that I would actually look forward to the witty comments from a mudblood! So what, she may be intelligent, but come on, I have intelligent friends...............well.......... I guess not, but that doesn't mean anything. I walk along the corridor contemplating who I actually befriended that has a quarter of the intelligence of Granger. Certainly not Crabb or Goyle, but I'm sure there's someone.......well never mind! It's not that important. Why the hell am I even thinking about this? I walk into the Slytherin common room vowing to not think about that filthy mudblood anymore.

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That didn't happen. She must have put a curse on me or something, because now all I can think about is that brain of her's and I tried to count how many hours she studies in the library. Then after that I thought about her stupid mass of hair, and about how many weasels you could fit in it. (I figure it'd be about 7.) Then after I finished that count I thought about her figure. Now let me tell you, that was not a good path to go down. I realized that I had never seen her outside of her school robes! So I decided it was my mission, and my right to find out what she looked like, under the robes.

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That didn't go too well. Apparently she didn't like that I tried to pull off her robes, especially in the middle of the hallway. It's not like I did it when anyone was around, I don't need people to see me touch her. But the problem is….. the robe didn't come off, so there I was standing there with her sleeve in my hand...........

"Malfoy!!!! What the hell are you doing?!" Granger yelled (which really hurt my ears!).

"What does it look like I'm doing?" I say back, she was acting like this was such a big deal.

"Get your hands off me before I hex you into oblivion!"

"Don't get your knickers in a twist, I was just doing an experiment" I say.

"And what would that be?" While I easily read the skepticism in her voice.

"How easy it is to take off your robe, I mean Weaslebee has to like you for some reason."

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So I guess she was a little mad at that comment, because the next thing I remember is that I woke up upside down in a pink dress, with yellow polka dots. I tell you it was not a flattering dress. It took me a while to get down, I had to wait 3 hours until a first year found me. After he helped me down, I picked up my wand, which had fallen on the floor, and obliterated this from his memory. There was one problem though. I wasn't angry with Granger, I could only think of how funny it was that she would think of something like that. Something is definitely wrong with me.

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**So I hope you guys liked the first installment of my first story. I think I'm only going to have one more chapter. Tell me if you like it, and even if you don't. I love constructive criticism. Thanks!**


	2. Chapter 2

Hey All! So I know that I have been away for a VERY long time, but a recent like of this story brought it to my attention again. I figured that creative writing could be exactly the relaxing task I was searching for! Thanks for all who are still interested! As always I don't own anything but the ridiculous plot; if I did, I would not be writing fanfiction I can tell you that! Let me know what you think! :)

Yes, something was definitely wrong. For the past week all I can think about it Granger; and all she was doing was glaring in my general direction. I mean, would it hurt to throw a comment my way...even a hex? But no, she was giving me the 'silent treatment;' which honestly doesn't bother me, not at all. It was about time that I make her talk to me, so I of course came up with an ingenious plan – irritate Granger to the extreme.

Step one: Stalk her in between classes (menacingly of course).

Step two: Insult her blood, boyfriend, intelligence, anything really.

Step three: Administer various pranks.

Step four: Sit back and relax. Nothing will worry her more than when I just stop bothering her. She will kill herself with curiosity wondering what I am planning next!

Honestly, this was an amazing plan, all that was left was to implement it. I just don't understand how it went so wrong.

Four days earlier:

Step one of the plan was already under way. I have been creeping up on Granger, stalking her between classes – I've seen the nervousness in her face as she looks over her shoulder! As you could tell, my plan was well on its way to working. Whenever she would stop near me I would make sure to throw an insult or two her way – nothing as bad as the last comment though, I don't need to end up in a dress again. Then for the pranks, I turned her hair pink for the day (she knew the spell to change it back almost instantly), I made her teeth revert to their bucktooth stage (which she had fixed right away), and I made it so that whenever she entered a room a bucket of water would be dumped on her head (she soon just used a spell to stop the water from hitting her). Just because the pranks didn't work according to plan didn't mean they didn't have some effect. After all of my pranks were finished I just completely stopped; this took its toll on Granger. She kept looking over her shoulder, expecting to find me there, but of course I wasn't.

What I didn't notice, was the looks Granger was sending my way. I really wish I knew what was going to be in store for me – I may have tried a different way to bother her, maybe I would have done something else. When I woke up the day after my pranks were implemented I went about my daily routine. It wasn't until I went down for breakfast that I found something was amiss.

Walking into the Great Hall with my usual smirk I head towards the Slytherin table. I didn't notice the chuckles at first, but I couldn't help but to hear the annoying sounds that Crabb and Goyle were making. Blaise looks up and suddenly spits out whatever he was chewing and stares open-mouthed at me. That is when I realize something was wrong. As I take my seat at the table suddenly water splashes the top of my head, drenching my entire body. As I splutter through the water I hear Blaise say, "Honestly, that isn't even the worst of it." I turn to him and he holds out a mirror to me. My hair was bright red, as I looked into the mirror my teeth grew twice their normal size. I stood up and looked over at the Gryffindor table, and saw Granger smirking a very Slytherin smirk; she then turned back around and continued eating. Grabbing my wand I changed myself back to normal and tried to think of ways to get back at Granger. After eating I stood up and started to walk away, not realizing the words, "I love Hermione Granger" were painted on my back. This was unacceptable, to even suggest I could ever like a mudblood was ridiculous.

Granger has thrown down her gauntlet, it's only fair that I should pick it up. She should know better than to mess with a Slytherin.


End file.
